Mutant Pizza

PANEL ONE
Cat sits under the tree, with Dog around the other side of the trunk.
CAT: Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, got a hot date planned?
DOG: I know you’re asking that sarcastically, but I do have a hot date, in fact.

PANEL TWO
There’s a twinkle in the Oak Tree’s eye as it listens.
CAT & DOG (together): I have a date with Jean Paul Sartre!

PANEL THREE
Cat’s side is visible, they deliver some sass with a flap of the arm. Across a wide gap is Dog on the right, scowling from their side of the tree. The Oak Tree’s eyes gaze wearily at what the two are saying.
CAT: You say that every year. And it still doesn’t count as a real date.
DOG: Well…it’s not like you have anything going on.
CAT: Duh, but at least I can admit it. Doesn’t your dead philosophy boyfriend preach about the need for honest?
DOG: Fair point. But it’s authenticity, not honesty, that Sartre was talking about. Being authentic with yourself.
CAT: So you’re saying that your repetitive jokes and loneliness are…authentically you?
DOG: My interest in philosophy and contentment with myself are, yes, authentically me.
CAT: You don’t find that sad?

PANEL FOUR
This panel is shapped like two overlapping hearts. Dog has craned their body around to get a better look at Cat, who hasn’t moved from their side of the trunk.
DOG: Do you find sitting at home playing video games on Valentine’s Day to be sad?
CAT: No, because I know you’ll come over with some cheap chocolates and a crappy card, and we’ll play. video games together.
CAT (CONT.): Well, I’ll play video games and you’ll cheer me on from behind a book.
Dog smiles.