Mutant Pizza

PANEL ONE
Cat buys a sweet new skin on their phone.
CAT: I’ve got to get this new skin. It’s so cool!
DOG (OFF PANEL): What’s the point in spending your hard-earned money on useless stuff like in-game character costumes?

PANEL TWO
Cat transforms anew, reborn — surrounded by a yellow glow. It’s awesome.
CAT: Cosmetics aren’t about usefulness, they’re about expression. Mainly, expressing to other players that I have more money than them.

PANEL THREE
Cat then directs their purchasing power to the Oak Tree, transforming it into something shiny and more, how to put this…cartoonishly blocky. Dog dodges this scary yellow light of change coming from Cat’s phone like a laser beam, maintaining his faded black, fuchia outlined appearance. He does this without looking up from his book, by the way.
DOG: Don’t you think that’s predatory?
CAT: Of course, that’s why I do it.

PANEL FOUR
The Oak Tree has been rebranded as a cute thing, with cute cartoony eyes and cute cartoonly squiggles depicting their countless leaves. Like something from the early years of noodley animation.
DOG (OFF PANEL): No, I mean companies that exploit the impulses of people with these expensive skins.
CAT (OFF PANEL): What are you saying? That game developers create a predatory ecosystem designed around exploitation? I’m shocked, I tell you.
DOG (OFF PANEL): Okay, I get it.
CAT (OFF PANEL): Shocked.

PANEL FIVE
Cat finally lands a marketing approved, absolutely overpriced cellphone-based cosmetic-changing laser blast onto Dog. He may or may not bear a striking resemblance to a famous dog from a famous comic strip but reversed in color, and not SO similar that he’s infringing on any potential copyrights.
DOG: If you know, then why do you take part in it?

PANEL SIX
The new, hip, brightly colored Cat has her hands on her new, brightly colored hips — a spectacle of indignation.
CAT: Oh, because you don’t buy frivolous things? Didn’t you drag me to the book store last week to buy another ‘limited edition’ copy of Dune with a new cover?

PANEL SEVEN
Dog looks down at their new form with disgust.
DOG: That’s completely different.
CAT (OFF PANEL): Keep telling yourself that.

THE END.