Mutant Pizza

PANEL ONE
Dog reads a clear book because the artist forgot to color it.

DOG:
Easter’s this Sunday.

PANEL TWO
Cat surveys the landscape.

CAT:
Oh yeah, that’s right! Where’s that mouth breather Jerome with my chocolate eggs?

PANEL THREE
Cat ever-diligently searches.

DOG:
You mean that rabbit who has a crush on you?

CAT:
He is my peon.

PANEL FOUR
A bunny bows at the feet of Cat, who sits upon a throne of Easter eggs.

DOG (OUT OF PANEL):
I feel sorry for him.

CAT (OUT OF PANEL):
Don’t. Jerome’s entire purpose in life is to give me what I want and receive nothing in return. It’s the perfect relationship. And since he’s a rabbit and Easter is his whole deal, he will shower me with plastic eggs full of treats and then begone!

PANEL FIVE
The Oak Tree silently scowls down at cat from its oaky, leafy tree-ed-ness. (It’s a word, shut up.)

DOG (OFF PANEL):
Poor Jerome. He’s too good for you.

CAT (OFF PANEL):
Yeah, you won’t be saying that when you’re up to your armpits in sweet treats next week.

DOG (OFF PANEL):
You’d share your candy with me?

PANEL SIX
Cat and Dog sit under the tree.

CAT:
Of course, I do every year, remember?

DOG:
No.

CAT:
Well, I do. I’m hurt that you don’t remember.

PANEL SEVEN
Cat’s claw is out with a menacing twinkle to the pinky claw. You know, it’s the smallest claw, not an actual pinky finger with a claw, just the smallest claw of the cat paw — the small claw of Cat’s cat paw.

DOG (OUT OF PANEL):
I remember last Easter when you threatened to scratch my eyes out for even looking at your Easter bounty.

CAT (OUT OF PANEL):
Hmm…I don’t remember that at all; therefore, it never happened. Now shut up and accept my future promise of goods.

PANEL EIGHT
Cat holds an Easter egg with a cute lil face; it makes a raspberry at no one in particular.

DOG (OUT OF PANEL):
I still don’t trust you, but okay.

CAT (OUT OF PANEL):
Good, good. This will destroy every last ounce of Jerome’s self-respect and make you indebted to me. Muahhaha!

DOG (OUT OF PANEL):
There it is.

THE END.