Mutant Pizza

PANEL ONE
Glott and Terry sit under the tree. Glott is enjoying his handheld video game console.

TERRY: DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY WE’RE HERE?

GLOTT: WE’RE RELAXING AFTER A HARD DAY’S WORK. WELL, HARD FOR ME. YOU WORK IN AN OFFICE.

PANEL TWO
Closer on Glott as he preaches.

TERRY (OFF PANEL): NO, NOT HERE UNDER THIS TREE. HERE ON EARTH. LIKE, WHAT’S OUR PURPOSE?

GLOTT: REMEMBER YOUR GOBLIN BIBLE — WHICH AS YOU KNOW, IS A BIBLE SPECIFICALLY FILLED WITH GOBLIN PARABLES. WE WERE PUT ON EARTH BY GOBLIN GOD TO RECLAIM HIS DIVINE BOOTY, BABY.

PANEL THREE
The Tree judges with its silent, wise eyes.

TERRY: BUY WHY?

GLOTT: I DON’T KNOW, QUIT ASKING QUESTIONS!
JUST FOLLOW HIS TEACHINGS, NERD.

TERRY: THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN MAKING MONEY FOR GOBLIN GOD.

GLOTT: WRONG.

PANEL FOUR
The Tree’s pupils turn into tears observing Glott’s conversation. Its purples turn into cute lil hearts observing Terry’s.

TERRY: WELL, I WANT MORE OUT OF LIFE THAN THAT.

GLOTT: LOOK, MONEY GETS YOU STUFF. STUFF GETS YOU POWER. POWER GETS YOU FREEDOM. AND FREEDOM GETS YOU CLOSER TO GOBLIN GOD.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?

TERRY: I DON’T KNOW… HAPPINESS?

PANEL FIVE
Glott holds out his gaming console.

TERRY: YOU CAN EASILY BUY THAT WITH MONEY. LOOK, I HAVE THIS GAME CONSOLE. IT MAKES ME HAPPY.

GLOTT: YOU DIDN’T BUY THAT, YOU STOLE IT.

TERRY: OKAY, SO I SKIPPED AHEAD A FEW STEPS. GOBLIN GOD PUT ME ON EARTH TO WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER.

THE END.